Lately I have been focusing my blog posts on myself and my friendships, but this post I wanted to write about my BIGS and their people – the special people in their lives that make them smile. I recently had the opportunity over the summer to spend time with both of the Bigs. Now in their 20’s, they come along with a significant other. And although I blissfully enjoy the moments I spend with them – I am keenly watching. What struck me as I watched how they interact with each other during each of our visits was that these people really love my children. The small gestures, ones that most would miss, I pick up on and celebrate that my longstanding prayers for loving partners for my children were heard.
Christopher has a beautiful girlfriend – inside and out. She is everything I always thought he would choose. Intelligent, creative, witty, down to earth and much more. She loves him with the purest of hearts – even beyond his flaws. She loves his flaws and embraces them. She is kind and thoughtful, going the extra mile to make him feel special. I witnessed her take care of him when he cut himself playing with the little girls and thought that was my role for so long and now as a man he has found someone who loves him as much as I do (that’s hard to do) and I am glad to take a back seat to this.
Lizzy has had a boyfriend for a little over two years now. He is patient, loving, driven, intelligent and so much more. Over time I have seen the little things that to me, speak volumes about how much He loves my little girl. (and I have written about him before in my blog – http://portieadoptionjourney.blogspot.com/2016/10/love-in-text-message.html ) He is thoughtful of her, values her opinion, champions her abilities and is protective of her. He is the balance in her life and is quite funny too. I witnessed probably an every day moment between the 2 of them during our last vacation together where he was asking her if she liked a particular shirt for him and getting her opinion on which one he should buy. That seems like nothing folks but to me the fact that he values her opinion and input means he values her.
And I must add, our family dynamic is not like most. Most adult children do not have elementary age siblings, especially not those that are adopted. And yet these 2 newcomers to our family recognize how important it is for the Bigs to continue to bond with the Littles and they foster that relationship and are ok with the time that it takes to do so. They play silly games and make concessions in our activities to accommodate even the youngest of our group. Another simplistic gesture they extend that probably is done without thought or effort but speaks volumes to this mom about their character.
Its the things I recognize that was missing in my marriage for so many years that I see my children have it “right” with who they have chosen. I have put a lot of knee time in prayer specifically for who will eventually be my children’s spouses. Are these my children’s life partners – that has yet to be seen but I celebrate the 2 that are in their lives right now for who they are and what they bring to the table and how authentically they love the greatest loves of my life.