My day started with my youngest in tears. Her tears were over mean girls at her school. So the conversation ensued about friendship and how as a 5th grader you should choose your friends wisely and run far away from those messy, mean girls. It’s a tough conversation to have with a 10 year old who is heartbroken and thinks maybe I will just change schools. Sorry to break it to her (and I did) those mean girls exist at all schools, Middle Schools and high schools, colleges and even in the workplace. They never go away.
This lengthy conversation was followed by a phone call from one of my besties and a conversation about our friend group. She told me of a conversation she had with someone who was asking who she surrounds herself with and if those people were mediocre. She laughed…. they are far from mediocre! No – on the contrary – our friend group is comprised of extraordinary women! When she said that I echoed that same sentiment – EXTRAORDINARY not the least bit mediocre! And I have written about my friends before but felt like it was appropriate to revisit this topic as there is so much to learn from our group. I actually used our friend group as a model and an example for Mia this morning – and to my children all the time!
We are strong women…. all of us have been in the trenches in some capacity throughout our lives – we have buried children, parents, grieved losses, faced divorces, breakups, relationship challenges, life changes, etc. We are fierce, strong and fighters! And what makes us special and unlike most adult friendships is that we are authentic! We tell the truth to each other, even when it is not what the other wants to hear. We are compassionate, kind and forgiving. We champion and celebrate our goals and accomplishments. We stand in the gap when we are needed for whatever. We are not messy, hateful or mean (not that we are by any means perfect) however, we truly love each other! It’s all this that shifts the friendship paradigm and propels us to a new level of being…… its the level of family.
And we are nothing particularly special but oh so special – if you know what I mean. We are teachers, hairdressers, accountants, chemists, personal trainers, entrepreneurs, real estate agents, stay at home wives/mothers, Lab Managers, medical office professionals. Each one unique and extraordinary in their own right. We bring to the table different experiences, knowledge, personalities and skill sets that feed our group. We live and work among many but have a distinct connection and community with each other. We chose each other and have weeded through the muck and many a mean girl to find the group we have. My hope that is that my daughters and my friends daughters see us a beacon of light of what friendship can be and strive to get there themselves. I hope others in our sphere of influence see us and learn a thing or two from our group.
Now for a quick PSA (hollering this from my imaginary megaphone)——Moms of daughters….. TEACH your girls to be this kind of friend. KNOW how they treat their friends and other girls in their class/school and correct them if they are off track. Quit fighting the fight for your daughter to be “right” and be open to maybe your daughter did hurt someone’s feelings or isn’t the best friend to others —– stop encouraging “popularity” and focus on kindness!!!!! Women we must do better!
Thank you to my tribe for your authentic friendship – much love to you all! And cheers to many more years of friendship and eventually…. nursing home shennanigans….. lol