A New Father’s Day Perspective

I’ve been silent for several months dealing with many things – the Covid stay at home order being front and center. Some good things have come from me being forced to sit still – A lot of family time, soul searching and really dealing with some baggage I carry from my past – as we all do (that’s for another post).   I’ve been quiet on social media as well to just allow myself a little time out of the spotlight.  Life got a little crazy at the beginning of this year but I have emerged on this most important day with something to say.

Father’s Day is forever changed for me.  Without my dad to celebrate I am left to celebrate his memory and I will forever compare the other men in my life to see how they measure up to my dad.  This post focus’s on one important man in my life that is a dad.  Dean…..

Dean and I spent the weekend with his boys at the river.  Throughout the weekend I watched Dean and his interactions with his boys.  I tend to think deeply about small interactions and the seeds that they plant.  And like I said I am comparing Dean as a Dad to my dad.  And here is what this weekend (and everyday life with Dean) revealed:

– Dean Loves his children – authentically and fully loves those boys

– He embraces life with 2 little boys which at times requires you to wear a wrestling referee shirt – as they fight and wrestle – I’m sure as most brothers do.

– He cares about what life lessons he is teaching them and wants them to be grounded in the simplicity of life and not caught up in “things”.  He wants them to learn that experiences are far better than that $50 toy.

– He takes time to teach them about things that boys need to know how to do – such as how to throw and set an anchor on a boat, how to assemble something with tools., etc.  He even takes time to explain the many “why” questions his boys ask – like why is that house left abandoned on the river or why can’t I watch a particular you tube video.  He wants them to understand fully the ways of the world.

– He not only loves his boys – He loves my children – all 4.  He makes it a point to have positive interactions with each, especially my littles.   He is careful and considerate to never overstep his role within their lives and feels so blessed and honored that his life’s path led him to be part of their lives.

-His goal is to model and be an example of what a stable, loving and healthy relationship looks like for all of our children.  It is of utmost importance to him.

– And much like my dad, who never sat me down to teach me all the things he did – he just modeled it in the way he lived his life – Dean is passionately working to leave a similar legacy for his children (and mine) of a life well lived.

– He doesn’t always get it right, this parenting thing (but who of us ever gets it right all the time) but he is humble enough to listen and learn when wisdom is offered and never ever gives up – he just keeps persevering.

I thought it was worthy this Father’s Day to highlight someone in my life that is doing it right – It makes me think of my dad and the legacy he left me.  I feel very grateful this Father’s Day…. Grateful that my dad and I had such a beautiful relationship and that I have no regrets..  I am also grateful that in his absence I have someone else in my life that measures up in terms of being a Father, as well as is willing to stand in the gap with my children just as my father did with them.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dad out there.  Hug your children, put moments with them in front of things and leave a legacy, its powerful!