I listened to this song by Elevation Worship numerous times over the past few years called Take Courage. Here are some of the lyrics:
– Slow down, take time, breath in He said, – He’d reveal what’s to come
– The thoughts in HIS mind always higher than mine, He’ll reveal all to come
– Take Courage my Heart, Stay Steadfast my Soul…. HE’S IN THE WAITING
– Hold onto your hope as your Triumph unfolds…. HE’S NEVER FAILING
– Do not forget his great faithfulness… He’ll finish all He’s begun
I re-listened to that song again today – as I was talking to someone about God being “in the waiting”. I remember singing that song so many times as a cry and an attempt to hold on to hope in the midst of the storm. Today when I listened I was moved to tears for a very different reason…. All of those years of being “In the Wait” and now I am living my unfolding Triumph. It was sweet to think back to all of the times God was faithful in the Wait and what that wait has brought forth for me.
I rarely write about Dean and get all mushy but this post is about so much more. It is realizing that God did see me through the wait and he is finishing what he began when he removed me from my marriage (kicking and screaming I might add – and Mad that it happened). But God gently allowed me some time to breath and then on cue – when God knew I was ready and so was everyone else in my life – Dean walked in. And the walk with Dean has been a journey in and of itself…
God knew that the man walking into my life would need to come with certain qualities. Dean’s sweet spirit and his enduring patience was instrumental in the healing of my soul and my broken heart. He didn’t know the depth of my sorrow and the vastness of my pain and guilt when he arrived nor did he ask. What he did is exactly what I needed. He humbly let me work out my issues – stepping quietly to the side – letting me have my moments in the valley and being ever present and ready to resume when I would come through, always loving me.
He embraces my life chasing after my 4 kids, bending to their needs and wants, even if they are far fetched, unreasonable or demanding or I am – he smiles, nods and says “wherever you are.. I am.
And in my quest for finding happiness and finding a partner – I guess I just always thought it would look the same…. Exchange one life for the exact other just with a different face. What I got is a stark difference but one that my heart so needed and so desired. That previous life where chaos abounded and life was always blasting forward to bigger better, more stuff, more money… more more more. A race to be somebody and to be known by many. In stark contrast my beautiful new life is filled with someone who is content, has a minimalist outlook, likes nature and outdoor activities, embraces a simple existence with low drama and treasures simplistic, yet deep interactions. There is no race for fame or to be known, me knowing his inner most thoughts and feelings is enough for him. A touch, a glance, a conversation is what is highly regarded and valued now. It was the wait that brought me further away from the chaos and allowed me to see the value in these things and to embrace a beautiful and meaningful relationship with a man who loves me like no other ever has.
The wait was so worth it! He has healed my soul and opened the opportunity to a beautifully happy loving future!
And btw I said YES!