Body Talk

There are many ways of communicating.  Of course, we use our voices to speak to each other but there are various other means of communication.  Sign language for those that are hearing impaired, the written word is used to communicate in various different platforms to many different audiences. However, that is not the only way we communicate.  A person can communicate disgust with a single look on their face.  Our bodies are great at communicating different emotions and feelings, and sometimes whether or not we are telling the truth.   The FBI even has employees that are experts in reading body language.  But have you ever stopped to think about how our body communicates things to itself.  For example, we have all had that GUT feeling when something just wasn’t right about a situation or a person.   Sometimes tragic news can spark a nauseous feeling in our bodies.

But outside of tragic news or those gut feelings, our bodies do talk to us, send messages, that sometimes are disconnected from our brains or maybe we just choose to ignore.  Once I got out of a 25 year dysfunctional relationship I did some deep soul searching and examined all of my behaviors, good, bad or indifferent to determine where they came from, are they healthy and if not, how can I change them.  And that is when I discovered that my body had been telling me for the longest what my mind took 25 years to acknowledge and act upon.

I knew that something was amiss in my marriage, even if I didn’t know what it was or what to call it.  My body told me – screamed at me at times.  I remember my ex-husband getting his pilots license and a plane and me being scared to death to fly with him. Really looking at the issue – I wasn’t scared to fly on any other plane or even a small private plane with another pilot.  I would gladly hop on any flight without a second thought or even an ounce of fear or anxiety but that wasn’t the case with him.  My body was telling me that I did not TRUST him, and frankly he was and is a great pilot.  I intrinsically knew from the core of my being that I couldn’t trust him on any level and that reaction of anxiety and fear was screaming “WE HAVE TRUST ISSUES”!  There were tears that would come immediately after intimacy, they would well up and fall so fast I didn’t even have time to react to squelch or swallow them back. I would think “what just happened?” – “Why tears?” and maybe I thought I knew the answer but just couldn’t articulate it in those moments of obvious emotion/grief/pain whatever it was coming out of my body via the tears.  The numbness and not longing for his touch in any way – hugs, kisses or even to hold his hand – just that dead inside feeling.  My mind told me I was broken – something was wrong with me instead of seeing it as a sign that my body was reacting to a relationship that was broken, non-committed and non-trustworthy.  And those feelings and reactions didn’t just pop up in the last years of our marriage – I had them for YEARS, almost from the words “I do”.

Sometimes in life we make bad decisions that we choose then to follow through and stick it out, whatever they are – and we may be able to fool our minds into thinking everything is ok but our body’s know.  Let me give you an excellent example of that outside of my marriage examples.  Many years ago, 21 to be exact, when I was in the hospital about to give birth to my 2nd child, I remember this odd incident during my labor.  The doctor had administered my epidural so I was feeling no pain.  Contractions were coming and were being monitored.  My mother in law was in the room watching the monitor and visiting with me.  She noticed that I turned my head and looked at the monitor just at the time I was having a contraction.  She asked if I felt any pain and I assured her I felt nothing.  She insisted that I must feel something because I reacted to the contraction by turning and looking at the monitor.  I dismissed her theory and was a little perturbed at her at the time because I know what I felt.  However, looking back it is exactly what I am talking about now – my body knew there was pain even though suppressed by medication,  which is why my head turned to look.  Our bodies know and so did mine for all those years.  It was communicating to me and I refused to listen.

That reactional communication that comes from the internal core of our bodies isn’t by happenstance  – our bodies are created in God’s own image.  Our creator designed us that wayHe created a masterpiece when he created us- fearfully and wonderfully made the bible says.  Equipped with our own internal alarm system – no additional wiring required.  We just need to listen, be truthful with ourselves and acknowledge the sirens when they go off and stop hitting the snooze button.  My body is keenly aware of my internal sirens and I now do acknowledge them – it still takes me a while with some things – because Oh that snooze button is easy to push.  But thankfully I am a better listener and less of an ignorer.   I hear my body talk to me so clearly these days and I am making sure I never ignore what it is saying again.  It speaks only truth.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” Psalms 139: 13-14  

 

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